So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
