I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
