whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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