i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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