Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
