the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
