hotel room ftw
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
40s are totally the cure
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You were trust falling into bushes
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
