Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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