the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Don't EVER smell your tampon
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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