Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize