i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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