can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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