I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
