his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is it penis luge time yet?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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