would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
