She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
