my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
