After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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