Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
