One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Please don't give away my fajitas
True college students do jello shots in the library
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