I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize