You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The cops high fived after they tackled you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
