People with herpes should wear stickers.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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