I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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