My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
