Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
