Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
