That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
