Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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