You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
