well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
