did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
not ubering you a puppy
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
