We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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