We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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