i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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