so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
