I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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