youre lurking in front of me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize