1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
