Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
