Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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