Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
