Screwed.edu
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
