So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You are the jesus of drinking
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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