therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
