Already got asked if we're dating
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
