I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
