Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How does one acquire holy water?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
