Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm passing your future prison.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
