Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
