I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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