Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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