What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
