Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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