On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
