actually, I'm a sock model
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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