When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
