You're completely useless in the revolution.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
