remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
