Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My dick has a subreddit
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
