Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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