I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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