Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
